Leaky Cauldron Dating Service
by Murphy8370
Summary: What happens when all the wizards and witches of England end up in the dating service? Will Ron, Harry, Hermione, Fred, George and Draco find love? Or whole lot of hillarity? Or... maybe both! Read and find out!
1. Chapter 1

Hermione was done. With dating that is, especially dating men like the Weasley's, never before had she felt like this. Insulted and angry that Ron sat back and did nothing while his boss called her filthy names, and yet torn apart because she knew that he was completely clueless. In long angry strides she walked down the hall of the Ministry, narrowly avoiding bumping into the people that bustled around, her head was tilted back at a proud angle and her delicately featured face was set in a shielded expression.

She could still see the placid look on Ron's face as his boss, an arrogant jerk by the name of Richard Bosley, had torn him a new one over a few mistakes on a file, and then the look of frustrated surprise when she had stepped in to defend him. The words still burned in her ears, repeating like bell in her head until she was ready to rip her hair out.

"Hermione! Wait!" Ron called down the hallway but Hermione didn't turn. "Please stop!"

"You, of all people, should know how much names hurt."

"Hermione, I'm sorry that he said those things, but I can't…"

"Can't what, Ron? Can't defend your own girlfriend? Can't stop someone from saying meaning things to someone else?"

"He's my boss, I can't just tell him to stop. It's disrespectful and I could lose my job."

"You're what?!" Hermione flipped around to confront Ron who was trailing not far behind her, her face bright with fury. "You're job?!"

"No! Hermione I didn't mean it like that!"

"Of course you didn't! You never mean it."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means…. It means…." She struggled to contain the raging emotions within her. "It means that you never mean what you say, whether you're angry or happy or anything. You never mean to hurt me, but you do."

"Honey…" he started towards her, his arms outstretched.

"No, Ron. No more. I can't anymore." She turned her face.

Ron's arms fell away and his blue eyes seem to fade a little. "Just call me when you get a backbone."

With that comment, Hermione turned on her heel and strode away, leaving Ron in a confused state, briefly in a fit of anger she considered setting his desk on fire but threw the thought away knowing it wouldn't soothe her ire. Instead she concentrated on getting out of the Ministry, out of the echoing hallways full of people, and away from Ron and getting into her car. All she wanted to do was go home, pull out a tub of ice cream, curl up on her couch and watch a movie….. an action flick full of exploding buildings and high speed car chases. That might put her in a good mood, an even better mood if she can find out with one of those hunky, sexy, American actors with asses you could bounce a quarter off of. To hell with carbs and calories, to hell with magic, and to hell with men (unless of course those men happened to be shirtless in movies)!

Just thinking about it was putting a smile on her face, with that plan in her head and a determination for her quest she jogged the rest of the way to the "phone-booth" and got inside. In jerky movements she pulled back her frizzy blonde hair and tied an elastic band around it then pulled her cellphone from her jeans pocket and scrolled through her contacts. When Ginny's number popped up, she pressed the send button and placed the receiver up to her ear.

"Hello?" Molly, Ginny's mother, answered in her usually cheerful voice.

"Good morning, Mrs. Wealsey, may I speak to Ginny?" she said in a polite voice that belied how she really felt.

"Hermione, is that you? Why of course, dear! She's just helping me with a bit of baking, let me go get her."

"Thank you."

"It's no problem."

There was a slight pause. "Is everything all right dear?"

It was strange how she always seemed to know when Hermione was feeling upset, it was as though she had a sixth sense of these things, and it unnerved Hermione somewhat.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Her voice broke a little.

"Okay, then." She seemed hesitant to give the phone over.

A moment later there was a click and Ginny's voice came over the line. "Hello?"

"Hey, Ginny." She said I a quiet voice.

"Hermione? Is everything alright?"

"Ron and I broke up."

A pause. "Oh, hon. You want me to come over?"

"If it's not too much trouble."

"Hermione Granger! It's never too much trouble, I'll meet you at your apartment in an hour. I'll bring the ice cream.

"I'll bring movies."

Ginny said good-bye and hung up the phone, reassuring her, it felt wonderful to have a plan, it gave her a sense of stability and something to look forward to. Finally, she exited the phone booth and walked over to her car with only one sad look behind her, was she doing the right thing by ending things with Ron?

Ron

She was gone. Really gone this time, gone from his office, his sight and his life, so why did it feel right? Why did it feel as though it was for the best? Why did he feel like Hermione had done him a favor? Hundreds of questions ran through his mind, plaguing his concentration and confusing him, it was supposed to hurt wasn't it? He was supposed to feel something? But he didn't, just an emptiness he couldn't explain, and for almost an hour it was all he could think about, it possessed his mind like a ghost, it wasn't until he heard a crash in the hallway that he came back, realizing that he had been staring at his paperwork.

"Ron?" someone's voice called from beyond the closed door of his office.

"What?" he snapped back.

The doorknob turned and the faded, wooden door creaked open, Harry stuck his head into the office with a smile and looked at Ron.

"Someone's a little cranky today."

"Yeah, sorry." Ron didn't look up but continued to stare at his paperwork.

"You know, paperwork doesn't just get up and do itself."

"Uh huh." Ron nodded, not listening.

"And I wear women's underwear…" Harry said, trying to gain a response.

"Uh huh….. wait what?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Distracted?"

"Yeah, a little bit."

"A little?"

Ron looked up; a strange hollow look was in his eyes. "She's gone."

"Who?" Harry looked confused.

"Hermione."

"Oh."

Harry shifted uncomfortably in the doorway, his head disappearing for a moment, then reappearing as he shifted his long, lanky body through the narrow opening and leaned negligently against the doorjamb.

"You have really got to clean this office. I can barely get through the bloody door!"

"I'll get right on that."

Harry stared at Ron, who was busy staring at his desk, his head pressed against the light wood, his hands hanging. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Hell no."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to get up soon?"

"No."

"Not even for lunch?"

There was a pause. "Maybe."

"Well, I'm going now, so if you want to come, you better hop on the train."

Ron lifted his head and peered out, Harry had his arms crossed over his broad chest and was staring intently at him, his dark green eyes intense. "Fine."

Half an hour later Ron and Harry were sitting in a pub, holding a couple of cold sodas, it being far too early to drink and they both had jobs to get back to. The atmosphere of the pub was clean but male in feeling, scarred oak tables and high stools were scattered around, dully shining from the dim light coming from domed chandeliers above and a huge, big screen that was hung loftily behind the bar was playing non other but the great sport of rugby.

"Tell me why we're here again? It's a muggle bar."

"Because the one we usually go to is the one I went with Hermione too."

"So?"

"So I don't want to go, is that a crime?"

"No."

Harry nodded absently and took a sip from his glass, Ron had his fingers wrapped around the glass and was staring intently at the bubbles that were slowly floating to the surface.

"You think it's forever?"

"I don't know."

"Is it your fault?"

"I don't know."

"Do you know anything?"

"I think it may be my fault."

"Might?"

Ron waved his hand in dismissal. "Can't you find something else, just as fascinating, to talk about?"

"No."

Ron sighed. "When did you become so nosy?"

"When you two started dating." Harry touched his shoulder in a brotherly sort of way. "Do you love her?"

The question hung in the air for long moment, stretched tight with the anticipation of his answer, Ron's heart did a flip-flop. Did he love her? Automatically he opened his mouth to say yes, then closed it, then opened it again. "Yes." He paused. "And no."

"Huh?"

"I don't why but I'm not upset. I still love her, but it's….. well, let's just say it's complicated."

"It is more sisterly?"

"Not quite." Ron took a sip from his glass. "It's hard to explain."

"I can imagine."

Harry nodded as if he knew. "Look, I can see you're a little upset and I don't want to seem rude but…." Harry leaned forward. "…tonight there's a little party going on at the Leaky Cauldron, a kind of speed-dating place for singles."

"No, I thought it was for couples."

"Very funny, smart ass. I'm not saying you should participate but maybe you should just come to get your mind off of her."

"Isn't it a little earlier to be dating again?"

"Don't worry about it, you can just come and have a drink with me, if you feel like you want to, you can, if not no hard feelings."

Ron thought about it for a minute, his expression serious then said with a silly grin. "What time is this shin-dig?"

TBC

REVIEW REVIEW


	2. Chapter 2

When Hermione arrived at her house, a bag full of movies resting in the crook of her elbow, she knew that Ginny had arrived

When Hermione arrived at her house, a bag full of movies resting in the crook of her elbow, she knew that Ginny had arrived. The kitchen was an explosion of chocolate smears, huge tubs of vanilla, chocolate, pistachio, cookie dough and rainbow sherbet ice cream littering the counters, tea sat steaming in two coffee mugs on the round oak breakfast table and a bright, red sweater was thrown haphazardly over one of her chairs. She smiled, knowing that Ginny was probably rifling through her closet right now and probably wasn't paying much attention.

"Ginny?" she called, a laugh weaving in her voice.

"In here!" Ginny called from her room.

Smiling she made her way towards the bedroom, ignoring the pangs of sadness whenever she noticed a picture of Ron and herself sprinkled around the apartment. She was moving on, which meant she couldn't think about it.

"You better not take my shoes again." Hermione warned, dropping the bag of movies on the side table before walking down the narrow hallway that led to the bedrooms and bathroom.

"Shoes?"

Making her way into the master bedroom she leaned against the doorframe and looked in, sure enough Ginny was stooped over her shoe collection, holding up a pair of black leather pumps. Ginny turned as she walked in and smiled sympathetically before standing up and making her way over.

"How're you feeling?"

"Great." She lied.

"Really?"

"Of course not, I'm trying not to cry! But just being here and smelling him is freaking me out."

"It's okay."

Ginny embraced her lightly, smoothing a hand over her back and leading her back into the kitchen.

"Time for some cookie dough therapy." Ginny giggled.

Hermione smiled, her eyes watering. "Okay… I got some Will Smith movies."

"Really?" Ginny bit her lip. "Oh baby, I'd give up magic for a man like that, all hunky and sexy."

"I know what you mean."

Ginny pulled two bowls from the cabinet above her head and pulled the huge plastic top off one of the ice cream buckets, scooping out a generous portion she plunked into the bowl and magically brought it over to Hermione. For a few moments she just stared at the ice cream, it's cold already cooling the blue plastic of the bowl where she held it. Taking the spoon Ginny offered she took a bite of the ice cream and smiled.

"Something's you can never replace."

Ginny smiled and moved towards the living room, picking up the bag of movies on the way out.

"So what did you get?"

"I, Robot. I Am Legend. Hitch. The Mummy, The Mummy 2, and The Scorpion King."

"Good ones."

"With lots of explosions."

"What's this?" Ginny asked just as Hermione was making her way towards the living room.

"What's what?"

"This flyer."

Hermione peeked her head around the corner and looked at what Ginny had in her hand, a small black and red flyer with the logo for the Leaky Cauldron scrolled across the top.

"Dunno. Got it in the mail."

"Looks interesting…"

"What is it?"

"A flyer for…a dating service of some sort."

"Really?" Hermione said with little to none interesting.

"Yeah, speed dating."

"Great."

"Mind if I take it?"

"Be my guest."

Hermione had no interest in dating, not now, not in the near future and possibly never if her luck with boyfriends kept as it was, she was finished with men for at least a century. Right now all she wanted to think about was her ice cream and how Will Smith was going to look without his shirt.

"You should go with me."

"No." Hermione said quickly.

"Just to get your mind off things, who knows, maybe prince charming will sweep you off your feet."

"The only prince charming I'll meet there is a boring doctor, three times divorced who's really looking for an easy way in my pants."

"Is it a handsome doctor?"

"Ginny!" Hermione came around the corner and gave Ginny a shocked expression.

"Well, it doesn't sound so bad, as long as the doctor is handsome. Maybe you just need a little therapy sex."

"I'm sorry, did I just hear what I think I just heard?"

"Yes, you did. It's called THERAPY SEX. Would you like me spell it?"

"No."

"Okay, so if it's not for sex then how about just talking?"

"No."

"It's a chance to meet new people!"

"Are you kidding me? I don't want to meet anyone! I just want to sit on my couch with my cookie dough ice cream and watch movies with high-speed car chases and hundreds of huge explosions!"

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

It was truly pathetic, the look on Ginny's face, her lush bottom lip pushed out, her blue eyes wide and watery, but it ate at Hermione's wall of control. She didn't really want to go.

"But…I don't want to!" Hermione whined. "And there's nothing you can do to convince me!"

Two days later Ginny finally wore Hermione down, it was a Friday, which was the date night that Hermione reserved each week to relax with Ron and just be with him. Ginny knew that it was going to hurt when Hermione had nothing to come home to except a huge bucket of Chocolate ice cream that Ginny had left behind after their break-up therapy session and a re-run of I Love Lucy. Hermione was tired after work, her body weary from lack of sleep and still weighted down with her loneliness she dragged herself to her car.

Once in the car she thought about ignoring the cell phone that buzzed on her hip, half of her hoping it was the Ron, the other half hoping it would just go away. With a frustrated sigh she pulled the cell off the clip attached to her leather belt and flipped it open, frowning when she saw the Weasley house number pop up in the screen. A nervous tingle slid down her spine, Ron? Pressing the answer button she placed the receiver to her ear.

"Hello?" she said tentatively.

"Oh good! You picked up!" Ginny's excited voice came over the line.

The air went straight out of Hermione's lungs in a whoosh, it wasn't Ron. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight."

Misery rung her heart out, making it ache. "No."

"You wanna go out."

"Not really."

"It'll be fun."

"I'm sure it will be."

"So come out!"

"Too tired."

"I'll make it worth your wile, we'll go to dinner."

"No."

"How about a bar?"

Hermione paused in the act of repeating her answer and wondered, maybe she should go out tonight, what did she have to look forward to? Ron wasn't coming over and mostly she was going to be alone.

"I guess, but I can't be out too late."

"Alright sour puss, meet you at your house?"

"Yeah."

Knowing that Ginny would apparate right into her apartment Hermione drove home as fast as she could, taking the highway and beating the rush hour to get there even faster. Instead of the usual half an hour it took to return home every afternoon it took her 15 minutes to turn onto her street and pull into her usual spot where a number was painted right onto the tar. Hermione stared up at the window to her apartment, seeing Ginny's shadow move around within, sneakily she looked around then apparated into the apartment with a crack!

"Hey." Ginny said when Hermione appeared in the living room, unfortunately landing on the maple coffee table her mother had given to her for her birthday.

"Hey."

"You gonna get dressed?"

"Don't rush me! I just got here."

Hermione stood up, brushing off her clothes and walking towards the bedroom to change, she really hoped she knew what she was doing.


End file.
